In 2010 I hit rock bottom. I felt like I was drowning in overwhelm, I felt stuck, alone in my anger and frustration and I honestly didn’t see a very much of a future for myself.
My life was extremely busy but my days were overloaded with a bunch of things that didn’t really matter to me because, in all honesty, I did not want to deal with what was happening on the inside. In the midst of all of that, I felt like I was drowning. I felt like I was going through the motions but at the end of the day, I didn’t really feel like I accomplished anything. Or at least not things that made a difference.
I’m grateful that I had people in my life, who saw that I was struggling and decided to offer help. If it wasn’t for them introducing me to new concepts, a new way of being, and the idea of living a life true to who you were created to be, I don’t know where I’d be today.
Through the books and mentors I was introduced to, came the 3 major decisions I made that completely changed my life. Today I want to offer up these to you in case you might be in a place where you feel like something is off or perhaps you are not where you want to be. I want to be that friend who might help you find a new way of being or introduces you to a new concept that could potentially help you go from stuck to soar.
Here’s the thing, we all have our own belief systems! Your beliefs (things you hold to be true) are formed by your thoughts as well as the thoughts and “truths” that were handed to you in your early childhood before you were consciously able to choose what you think about.
So, the question is not whether we have a belief system but rather what kind of belief system do we have in place?
What do we believe about ourselves? About the world around us? About other people and about what is possible for us to accomplish in our lives.
For example, I had a very screwed up belief system in place! And because of this false theory that I carried around, for the first 30 years of my life, I really struggled. In relationships, how I viewed myself and the potential that I had inside of me.
When I looked at myself I thought that I had nothing to offer to this world because if those closest to me didn’t see value in me then how could I possibly have any, right?
After reading dozens of books on this particular topic and after successfully changing my own beliefs about myself, God and others, I’m here to tell ya sista, that first of all in order for us to live a fully purposeful life and to really reach for the God-given potential placed within us, we’ve got to really believe that we are capable to making things happen. That we are really capable of achieving real success in our lives. Our thoughts can either help us soar or keep us stuck. The good news though is that the ideas that you have about yourself right now, no matter how untrue or false they may be or no matter how long you’ve had those false and negative beliefs can be changed. And you can start new and fresh. You can rewire your thinking and upgrade your beliefs so that you start soaring.
Step 1: Decide to change. That’s the very first step in this whole process. Decide that having a healthy and thriving thought life is important enough for you to actually start making some changes.
Step 2: Is to create awareness. Pay attention to how you are currently thinking and what your belief system looks like right now. This can only take place when you pause long enough periodically to actually reflect on your own thoughts. I love the quote that says, “don’t believe everything you think.” (Robert Fulghum)
Step 3: Once you realize which thought patterns need to be disrupted and rewired then you can start reframing those statements you keep telling yourself. The good news is that you have full control over how you reframe those thoughts and faulty beliefs.
In this step I cannot emphasize enough the idea of getting clear on what YOU want your life to look like. It is your life!
Trust yourself enough and lean into what I call a “divine intuition”. You know yourself and life better than anyone else. God knows you even better than you know yourself. I believe when you partner with God and ask him to give you wisdom in finding clarity he will grant you that request. But you have to trust yourself enough to then believe him and take action on what’s been revealed to you.
In all my years of working with women who are looking to really live into who they were meant to be, here’s what I found to be one of the biggest culprits that stands in the way. Lack of clarity. Many times we feel overwhelmed, stressed out and overstimulated because we are chasing too many of the wrong things due to lack of clarity. We never really take the time to know who we are, how we are wired, how we function best and then to actually verbalize what we truly want.
One of my favorite female mentors in the personal growth world is Marie Forleo. I once heard her say “I can help you get anything you want but first you have to tell me what that is.”
Simple enough, right? Unfortunately, simple doesn’t always mean easy, otherwise everyone would do it, right? The problem is that most of us had no training on how to figure out what we really want. There is no clarity and vision class in school. Or at least I didn’t have one.
But here’s what I learned through mistakes and failures that I’ve experienced in my life and business.
Lack of clarity equals massive pain.
When we lack clarity we not only don’t have a direction we are aiming for but we don’t know how to draw boundaries and then to clearly communicate those boundaries for others around us.
Lack of clarity creates frustration and a struggle to prioritize because when we don’t know what matters most we don’t know what to focus on, we don’t know what to prioritize. Lack of clarity will eventually mean failing to produce meaningful results despite feeling super busy. And when we let it go unchecked for a long period of time, lack of clarity will push us to the edge of burnout.
So, as you can see having clarity is super important. Deciding what you want is the first step in getting it and when you have clarity you now can also clearly communicate to those around you what you are all about without miscommunication or creating false expectations.
So, how can we turn indecision, lack of clarity and vague ideas into a building block in order to grow and gain traction?
By turning vague wishes into clear and specific goals. Written goals that we can now be measured and tracked. Wishy-washy goals equal wishy-washy results.
Consistency beats everything. Small consistent steps will always outdo big one time steps or big intentions. Trust me. But here’s what consistency does as it relates to getting unstuck in your life. When you consistently show up for your dreams and goals and for the person you see yourself becoming and you do so over and over and over again, you build trust with yourself. You tell your subconscious mind that you are worth showing up for and that you are also a trustworthy and reliable person.
While the first two decisions “Upgrading your thinking” and “Getting clarity” is the fuel that help you get unstuck, this last decision, Consistency is the vehicle that will help you to soar beyond your current reality. When you ride it long enough you’ll look back 3-6 months from today only to see how far you’ve gotten from where you started.
If you are reading this and you are thinking to yourself, this right here is exactly where I am and I know that that’s not where I want to stay, then I have something for you. Before I jump into answering your questions I want to make sure I share this opportunity with you. Why? Because 10 years ago someone did that for me, shared an opportunity, new concepts, and a way of being and it literally changed my life.
If you know you were created for more. If a more purposeful, exciting and impactful life beckons you, I want to check out the Finding Your Path program. It’s a 4-week crash course that walks you through the simple framework I created out of all the things I learned about how to create an intentional and impactful life.
The "Finding Your Path" simple framework can help you clear the clutter so you can reignite your life. The same framework that helped hundreds of other women create a life infused with audacious goals and invigorating habits. I’ve put this framework in such a way that when you go through the steps I teach you’ll be able to see amazing results in only 30 days.
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